Combatting
oxygen thieves
one tree at a time.
We've all been there. Turn those negative feelings into forests - offset the culprits existence, replace the oxygen they took over their lifetime, and redirect bad breakup energy into something eco-friendly.Also proven to be effective on useless friends, awful bosses, irritating siblings and that horror-show of a mother-in-law.Move on feeling better.
How it works.
It's simple.They breathe oxygen.You plant trees to replace it and offset them.
Here's the science: the average person breathes about 550 litres of oxygen every day. Over a lifetime, that adds up to millions of litres.A mature tree produces roughly 120,000 litres of oxygen each year - enough for two people. So planting trees based on how long they've been alive? That's not symbolic. That's restoring actual balance to the planet.It's straightforward: you choose your package, we plant, the offsetting begins. Real reforestation.Real impact. And yes, real closure.
Real trees in real forests.
Your story.Your forest.Your impact.
We work with different organisations involved with reforestation and planting trees - both here in the United Kingdom, and overseas. Established organisations, verified planting, real impact.You'll get a certificate showing where your trees are planted, what species they are, and the environmental impact they're making. These aren't credits or offsets – they're actual trees going into actual ground.This isn't therapy. But doing good feels good.
It's okay to not be okay.
Relationships, life and breakups are often tough.We get it. You're not alone.
Sometimes redirecting energy into tree planting helps. Sometimes you need proper support. Both things can be true.If you're going through a difficult time, there are many organisations that are there to support you.
Mind
www.mind.org.uk
Mind is a mental health charity offering advice, support, and advocacy. They help people understand their mental health and find the right support.
Shout
www.giveusashout.org
Shout is a free 24/7 text service for anyone in crisis. By texting 85258, people can get support from trained volunteers in real time, straight to their phones.
CALM
www.thecalmzone.net
CALM offers free, confidential support to anyone struggling with life, particularly men at risk of suicide. They provide a helpline and webchat every day.
London Search and Rescue
www.londonsar.com
Someone goes missing ever 90 seconds in the United Kingdom, with many of those people struggling with their mental health or feeling suicidal. The websites signposts several organisations that can support with mental health crises.
PAPYRUS
www.papyrus-uk.org
Papyrus supports young people under 35 who are struggling with suicidal thoughts. They offer free, confidential support and advice for those at risk or concerned others.
Planting trees won't fix everything. But taking a step forward with the right support around you can help.So if you need more than trees, please reach out to someone.
Treevenge is a dish best served eco.
Everywhere you look, oxygen thieves are there. We're taking back control.
Pretty much anyone who's been breathing your air for too long. Exes who overstayed. Bosses who mansplain. Siblings who "borrowed" and never returned. Friends who ghosted. Politicians whose faces make you irrationally angry. Next-door neighbours with 7am leaf blowers. That colleague who takes credit. The mother-in-law from hell. Derek at the bowls club.If they've earned it, they can be offset.
Oxygen debt that's now been repaid.
Oxygen deficit restored.Tree by tree.Forest by forest.
This isn't just another Treevenge story, this is the story. The story of how Treevenge was born.
My long-finished ex. Father of my kids. Total halfwit. At my mum's 70th, he got absolutely hammered. His entire skeletal system turned to jelly as he flopped over the bonnet of his car backwards. In public. In front of my eldest. At her party. I called my closest friend the next day, fed up of the latest episode of incompetence. He listened. Then he went quiet, tapping away. He'd worked out how much oxygen my ex had used in his lifetime, planted the number of trees needed to generate that much oxygen, and whatsapp'd me a certificate confirming that my ex's existence had been offset.Treevenge was born.
"The certificate arrived on my phone, I laughed. My ex was still a tool, but suddenly life felt okay again. Treevenge was born"
@Tam, 43 (Surrey)
Treevenge isn't therapy. But redirecting bad energy into good action? That does something. Here's what our treevengers are saying.
Twenty years he's been pulling this. Drumsheds, post-Covid lockdown, Pendulum playing. I turned around and he was up a flagpole. Security furious. He slid down as the beat dropped, gave them the full drunk Hugh Grant apology routine, then disappeared into the crowd like smoke. Poof. Three hours later, a saint of a woman rang from his phone having found him semi-concious wallowing in self-pity and loathing. He was miles away. Typical.
"Twenty years of vanishing acts. Flagpole-scaling, security-dodging, cross-London odysseys. I planted 5 trees. Can't afford one for every incident or I'd bankrupt myself. But 5 feels like a down payment on the oxygen he's wasted apologising to strangers"
@James, 42 (London)
An irritating boss that is old-school, disconnected from reality, and relies on ChatGPT to deal with everything. Thrives off achievements from years ago. Probably well-meaning, but from time to time I plant a tree or two just to offset the oxygen wasted as he mansplains things to me.
"Every time I receive a mansplaining email with the signature [Anonnymouse] MBE - tagged on after his name like a pennant fluttering from a medieval lance - I sign and hit the £10 pacvkage. He has no idea (about this, or real life). The planet's winning, and I carry on smiling."
@Tegan, 37 (Cornwall)
Ryan got narky with me because I didn't immediately reply to his WhatsApp, accused me of blocking him, and wanged on about the little blue ticks. We've made up now, and in his own special way he's told me "he doesn't give a f***" and that "he's over it." It felt good quietly planting a tree to offset his persistent BS. Love him really.
"One tree for the blue tick incident. He'll never know. Marriage intact, oxygen debt settled. Win-win."
@Giles, 32 (Manchester)
Dave ate roast potatoes from the fridge that Amy had specifically saved. He didn't ask. He didn't apologise. He didn't even feel bad about it. That was the final straw for me. Relationship over, oxygen debt unpaid.
"I offset that potato-thieving, oxygen-wasting freeloader and told him exactly what I'd done. He called me petty. I called it reforestation. We're both right."
@Amy, 23 (London)
My half-brother borrowed my car, returned it on empty, and had the audacity to say "you should've filled it up before lending it." We're in our 30s. This has been going on since we were born. I planted 25 trees. Told my mum. She planted 25 more. He's furious. We're delighted.
"Went big with two packages and two certificates. He's livid. Mum thinks it's hilarious. The oxygen debt for 30-odd years of sibling nonsense from the least favourite child is officially settled"
@Alex, 31 (Jersey)
My best mate of 15 years just... disappeared. No explanation. Stopped replying. Blocked me on everything. Turns out she thought I'd said something about her boyfriend (I hadn't). By the time she realised, I'd already planted 30 trees in her name. We're mates again now. The trees stay.
"A micro forest established for the 15 years of friendship nearly binned over nothing. She laughed when I told her. Said she deserved it. Forest's doing great."
@Priya. 19 (Birmingham)
Derek was definitely flirting with Margaret at the bowls club the other afternoon. Old git can barely bend down to pick his balls up off the floor, don't know what he's playing at. Anyway, I went into the joint account and planted a few trees to offset his behaviour. Margaret isn't all that anyway.
"A few trees did the trick, just to be sure. Joint account, so technically he paid for it. Serves him right. Margaret can have him."
@Brenda, 71 (Bournemouth)
Your turn. Pick your trees, choose your package, offset someone who probably deserves it. The planet wins. You feel better. Everyone's happy. Except maybe the oxygen thief themselves.
Choose your oxygen offset package
Your story.Your forest.Your impact.
Three tiers. Real trees planted through our verified and trusted partners. Each comes with a personalised certificate confirming their oxygen debt is settled.
Perfect for short-lived mistakes, minor oxygen thieves, first-time offenders, or dipping your toe into eco-revenge. The friend's ex who ghosted after three dates. The first terrible boss. A tree planted to start rebalance the ecosystem.
The relationship that overstayed its welcome. The boss who's been a nightmare for years. The sibling who still owes you £500 from 2019. A few trees planted in their name. A personalised certificate. The kind of gift that gets screenshotted and shared in the group chat.
The nuclear option. When "a few trees" won't cut it. For yourself, for your best friend going through hell, for the colleague who deserves something meaningful after years of despair. Physical certificate on eco-paper, sealed with beeswax in your colour of choice. For the oxygen thief who went above and beyond.
Coming soon: Full oxygen usage calculator that factors in age, relationship duration, and severity of their behaviour. Until then, trust your gut.
Thank you
Your free tree will be planted within the week and you'll get the certificate via email. You're also now on the list for launch updates. We won't spam you. We're busy planting trees.